The newly published parliament travel guidelines have been sparking angry comments and grievance. Alarmed parlamentarians have questioned the legality of the new guidelines based on doubts raised about the authenticity of a few paragraphs.

Paragraph 1007 section 69 part 666; states that from now on, elected officials are when travelling, required to choose to spend their nights in hotels NOT soliciting sexual services over their regular “homes away from home”. In addition, almost as insult to injury, even hotels offering adult entertainment channels are also to be avoided if alternative accomodation in a similar area and price range is available.

The indignant representatives of the Finnish people claim that the sections and subsequently the whole paragraph is the work of a skilled forger and that they have been targeted in a malicious and intricate plot. Sources wishing to remain anonymous say that a disgruntled bureaucrat only referred to mysteriously as “Mr.X” has been masterminding his personal revenge on our elected representatives as means to setttle an old score.

Acording to the unofficial story the grudge was caused by the loss of face back in 1974 at the parliaments annual semi-official Vappu* do’s after party. At the party “Mr.X” was coldy stood up by an unidentified female parlamentarian, who had apparently at the very last minute opted for a Ménage à trois with a standing minister and a belgian diplomat instead. This had pushed the unstable civil servant over the edge.

Parliament veterans confirm that “this particular nasty bussiness” had been continuing for years and that “Mr.X” has continued his relentless campaign long after the original party involved in the incident had finished her term. Many of the incidents take place around this time of the year but most of the damages caused by “Mr.X” takes place away from the publics view but the ‘08 parliament travel guidelines, which are public documents, reveal that the fire is still burning (as hot as ever).

It seems that in his latest move, “Mr.X” had somehow cleverly managed to append extra pages and paragraphs to the sections governing over travel accomodations in the recently drafted guidelines, as the were being typed clean. Well aware of the busy schedules at arkadianmäki**, “Mr.X” knew that the chances for the documents being proof read prior to ratification by stamps and signatures were slim to none. As a result the disputed “additional” paragraphs became part of the official guidelines.

“Mark My Words B***h, You Will All Pay!”

* Vappu = May 1st, a day of nation wide celebrations and jubilations

arkadianmäki**= The location of the Finnish Parliament Building