The newly published parliament travel guidelines have been sparking angry comments and grievance. Alarmed parlamentarians have questioned the legality of the new guidelines based on doubts raised about the authenticity of a few paragraphs.

Paragraph 1007 section 69 part 666; states that from now on, elected officials are when travelling, required to choose to spend their nights in hotels NOT soliciting sexual services over their regular “homes away from home”. In addition, almost as insult to injury, even hotels offering adult entertainment channels are also to be avoided if alternative accomodation in a similar area and price range is available.

The indignant representatives of the Finnish people claim that the sections and subsequently the whole paragraph is the work of a skilled forger and that they have been targeted in a malicious and intricate plot. Sources wishing to remain anonymous say that a disgruntled bureaucrat only referred to mysteriously as “Mr.X” has been masterminding his personal revenge on our elected representatives as means to setttle an old score.

Acording to the unofficial story the grudge was caused by the loss of face back in 1974 at the parliaments annual semi-official Vappu* do’s after party. At the party “Mr.X” was coldy stood up by an unidentified female parlamentarian, who had apparently at the very last minute opted for a Ménage à trois with a standing minister and a belgian diplomat instead. This had pushed the unstable civil servant over the edge.

Parliament veterans confirm that “this particular nasty bussiness” had been continuing for years and that “Mr.X” has continued his relentless campaign long after the original party involved in the incident had finished her term. Many of the incidents take place around this time of the year but most of the damages caused by “Mr.X” takes place away from the publics view but the ‘08 parliament travel guidelines, which are public documents, reveal that the fire is still burning (as hot as ever).

It seems that in his latest move, “Mr.X” had somehow cleverly managed to append extra pages and paragraphs to the sections governing over travel accomodations in the recently drafted guidelines, as the were being typed clean. Well aware of the busy schedules at arkadianmäki**, “Mr.X” knew that the chances for the documents being proof read prior to ratification by stamps and signatures were slim to none. As a result the disputed “additional” paragraphs became part of the official guidelines.

“Mark My Words B***h, You Will All Pay!”

* Vappu = May 1st, a day of nation wide celebrations and jubilations

arkadianmäki**= The location of the Finnish Parliament Building

“A feeling of sadness and longing That is not akin to pain, And resembles sorrow only As the mist resembles the rain.”

If there ever was a king of Rock and Roll, then you can be sure that he had some illegitimate children or he was in the wrong bussiness completely. And even if Jyrki Hämäläinen wasnt one of those children you can bet your ass he was at the parties where some of them were concieved.

If you were anybody who was anybody, then you knew Jyrki Hämäläinen. He will be missed and mourned by more than most people.

Can you spot the one rocking his as off?

(Answer: he is behind the 2 middle aged guys wearing glasses.)

 

 

 

Tell us seriously who in Finland was cooler?

 

 

 

 

“Smile for the camera son, I might just put you on the cover”

It was well over a 100 years ago Victor Hugo predicted that “An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come.” And thats exactly what happened. It took just a small, determined group of young, healthy and virile finnish men. Alltough armed with nothing but an exceptional firmness of mind these men managed to set the new group record for an all time low.

They call their group “Agonizer” (*note singular).  As an attempt to thank their supporters they came up with the idea of playing a concert 1.4 kilometeres underground. After securing a record deal, what had originally just been another idea during intense brainstorming became reality and as a result the men became the record holders as well.

“Agonizer” snatched the record from the band called “Queens of Stone Age”, who apparently must be very popular with their neighbours as alltough they hail from the United States, their last notable gig was booked and played in a salt mine, 701 meters below ground level, in Germany.

There are no news regarding the date “Agonizer’s” new record is expected to surface, but there have been talks of rewarding the group with a “special publics interest medal” should they manage to continue succesfully playing their music undergroud.